Dear Poker, I'm just not that into you.

Lately I've been feeling completely unmotivated to blog about anything. I don't play a ton of poker anymore and this was always supposed to be more of a poker blog. I decided to play a small tourney the other day thinking that it would be a nice change of pace and perhaps rekindle my interest in the game. Once into the game, pretty much the usual stuff happened: I got mostly crappy cards, and when I did get good cards nobody called. I guess I played OK because I made it to the final table. Or, maybe it was the fact that there were only 35 people in the entire thing. At the final table I had a pretty short stack and the two biggest stacks were to my left. I ended up getting sick of being pushed around, went all in with AT and got knocked out when big stack to my left had AK. uggggg......

This did nothing to rekindle the romance.

In fact, I swore I would never ever play again. I could have bought a pair of shoes. Well, not really, but that's how I think of poker in general: I would rather buy something I can keep because I know I don't play enough to really improve my game. I don't have the time. I honestly don't have the patience. And, I don't really care to. You all know my interests lie elsewhere.

So, for a while I just did not even want to blog. My so-called "poker" blog was not a poker blog anymore because there was not a lot of poker content. I got lazy and my posts became a regurgitation of facts and stories straight out of cnn.com. I was completely unmotivated to a. play poker and b. blog. I didn't have anything to blog about. Every time I sat down to draft a post, I couldn't think of anything. I didn't want to whine about my schedule or school or how sleepy I was going to be this Fall. I didn't want to blog about poker. And I certainly didn't want to post any more cnn articles. So, I just didn't post anything at all.

While talking to Ray about this, I actually decided that I wanted to abandon the whole blogging thing and give up. He reminded me that I don't have to say the right things all the time and that I don't have to deliver something full of sage wisdom. A blog can just be a journal of sorts. "Write about anything funny or stupid that happened that day", he said. And all the pressure I had put on myself to write something smart or meaningful started to subside.

So rather than trying to be smart or funny, I'm just going to be me. Which, by the way, is hopefully a little smart and a lot funny. I'll try to write more about every day experiences and my journey to become the person I've always wanted to be. This, perhaps speckled with some sage wisdom will be the "new" blog content. And, if I do play some poker along the way, I will certainly include that too.